when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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