My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
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I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
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What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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