just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
