Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
