I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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