Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
