Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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