omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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