Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize