so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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