I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
