so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
