my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
