Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
my poor anus
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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