left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
