YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
