I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize