i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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