you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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