If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
