soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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