I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
