You're completely useless in the revolution.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
