At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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