Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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