her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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