He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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