Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize