You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
