I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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