it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
