how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
