Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
