i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
