Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
