I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
