the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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