I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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