Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
