I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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