Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
