I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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