I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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