I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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