Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
