so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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