forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
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It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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