I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
