I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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