can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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