So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
