can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
