:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
