Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
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The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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