I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
