you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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