he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It's never too late to be topless.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
