U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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